This One's for Sandra

Assholian(s) (n.) - of the people born and raised in Assholia.
Assholia - An island found in the Pacific Ocean near the Marianas Trench.
Geology - Many layers of unconformities producing sharp, puckered foothills.
Climate - the island is warm, muggy, and windy year round due to a vuggy thermal underlayer that was formed during the JurASSic period. These vugs (small to medium cavities) hold large quantities of methane gas which are expelled through cracks in the earth crust when pressure builds. (Assholians are said to have no sense of smell. Tourists to the island are encouraged to visit the local tourist and information stops for complementary pairs of nose plugs.)
Vegetation & Forestry - Only 3 types of trees and one type of bush grow on this island - Patmore Green Assh, Asspen, Hoopsii Spruce, and the Compact Burning Bush. Found mostly ringing the island they help to break the wind. These windbreakers also reduce noise and prevent soil erosion and moisture loss. A windbreak can provide protection as far downwind as 15 times it's height. A 10ft. windbreak would give you protection up to 150 ft. (Please see Lois Hole's 'Favorite Trees & Shrubs' for more information).
National Sports - The Flatuosity Games held at Mount Oflatus, held every two years. Games include: Ballooning (athletes must provide their own hot air), inner tube water polo, underwater hockey, air borne soccer (similar to ultimate Frisbee), Cornish wrestling (thought to have been brought over by a lost ship of drunken Celts from Cornwell), and Mini-trampolining.

Few Assholians ever leave the island. If you do see or experience one of these displaced Assholes, please consult your local authority or experienced physician.

For more information on the rise of Assholia and it's people please see the DarHOLEian Theory of Assolution.